ahhhhhhhhhhhh...

ahhhhhhhhhhhh damn this turd. it ate my post. >_<AH well. The short is camp is soon. Can't seem to get incontact with too many ppls in the real world. Phones change #s or vmails never responded to, or no summer contact info. I miss my buds but ahwell, bet there summers are rocking and they're all like 'miranda who'.campers come wed. at the beach in wilmington w. courtney and dawn... *smiles* it's so relaxing and the weather rocks my world. no longer pasty yellow. not that i think i was yellow but others seemed to think so *smirk*.contact me you fucktardsX)*hugs*love always m.Anydayby aniI will lean into youAnd you can be the windI will open up my mouthAnd you can come rushing inYou can rush in so hardAnd make it so I can't breatheI breathe too much anywayI can do that anydayI just wish I knew who you wereI wish you'd make yourself knownProbably you don't know I'm herThe woman you want to call homeI'll keep my ear to the wallI'll keep my eye on the door'Cause I've heard all my own jokesAnd they're just not funny anymoreI laugh too much anywayI can do that anydayHave you ever been bent or pulledHave you ever been played like stringsIf I could see you I could strum youI could break youMake you singBut I guess you can't really see the windIt just comes in and fills the spaceAnd everytime something movesYou think that you have seen its faceAnd I've always got my guitar to playBut I can do that anyday

Tainted Love

Tainted LoveSometimes I feel I've got toRun away I've got toGet awayFrom the pain that you drive into the heart of meThe love we shareSeems to go nowhereAnd I've lost my lightFor I toss and turn I can't sleep at nightCHORUS:Once I ran to you (I ran)Now I'll run from youThis tainted love you've givenI give you all a boy could give youTake my tears and that's not nearly allOh...tainted loveTainted loveNow I know I've got toRun away I've got toGet awayYou don't really want any more from meTo make things rightYou need someone to hold you tightAnd you think love is to prayBut I'm sorry I don't pray that wayCHORUSDon't touch me pleaseI cannot stand the way you teaseI love you though you hurt me soNow I'm going to pack my things and goTainted love, tainted loveTainted love, tainted loveTouch me baby, tainted loveTouch me baby, tainted loveTainted loveTainted loveTainted love

the clash- 'should i stay or should i go'

darling, you gotta let me know should I stay or should I go? If you say that you are mine I'll be there till the end of time So you gotta let me know Should I stay or should I go? I'll always tease,tease,tease you're happy when I'm on my knees one day is fine and the next is black so if you want me off your back well, come on and let me know should I stay or should I go? chorus: Should I stay or should i go now? Should I stay or should i go now? if I go there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double so come on and let me know The indecisions bugging me (esta un decision me molesta) if you don't want me ste me free (Si no quieres librame) Exactly who I'm supposed to be (Diga me que tengo ser) Don't you know which clothes even fits me? (saves que robas me querida) Come on and let me know (Me tienes que decir) Should I cool it or should I blow? (Me debo ir o quedarme)

*pack...

*packs comp*-m

my eyes are...

my eyes are crunchy

.

i studied last night. i actually studied. i came back here after chinese in cone with amy and dropping some off for kim to enjoy during her craming for her 8am exam and came back here. i know, amazing, and then i fell asleep with the math book on my lap... so of course that crashed to the floor, oops. and and i was in bed before too late! add that to the fact that i actually registered for classes yesterday. they're the easiest classes ever. no friday classes, one class (masterpeices of cinema on m/w) and then nutrition, intro to poetry, and western civ on thues/thurs out at 315. all classes miranda should be able to blow the hell out of. *smile*.and i carried a load to my car yesterday, packed up most of my desk and dropped the film off that i had been meaing to.the end is nearer... semester closes out. sad. *sighs*-mtoday holds math and that speech plus over due french for me. eeep! >_<3 more exams, heres to not sleeping through the 8ams this time!!

lol. miranda found this, this is a fanfic she wrote back way way ago in like 99' woah.

Title: Reddened EyesAuthor: Miranda Land Email: spagent259@hotmail.com. Feed back is greatly appreciated.Distribution: Why not. x)Spoiler Warning: Hmmmmmm, well.....everything really is game in this piece. Nothing really pointed to specifically though. Rating: PG13 Classification: MSRKeywords: MSR; Post XFiles(FBI); Mulder Return; Scully AngstSummary: *shrugs* No clue, save, Scully let it all out to some 'strangers'.Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, noppperds, not mine. Except the bar tender who never really speaks :)(except to himself; but that counts!). I totaly guessed to as to the occurcances in the future. X) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Setting: A bar in the heart of D.C. A red haired woman was sitting at the bar, getting smashed on drinks. The bar was empty save a few at the bar (two other than Scully), the tender, and a couple in a corner booth. ____________________________________x10:13 pm Washington D.C. Bar May, 2013~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the vacant bar a deep and troubled eyed forty some year oldwoman dressed in gray sweats was seated between two guys who looked nearly as bad as she did. The worn woman had unkempt, pixie cut, fiery red hair. She thought to herself. 'I'm sitting between these two strange men. *heh* That doesn't matter-Here to relieve stress, not to meet people.' She was obviously stressed beyond expression and had been so for quite some time. "Thirteen years. It's been thirteen long years!", the red headexclaimed loudly; not caring of by whom she was heard. The bar tendershot her a sideways glance and nodded. "And I haven't seen nor heard from him... God! Is he even still alive? Hell, I don't even know that!" Slamming her glass on the bar-"I'll have another; straight up this time." Down went the second ---. "Keep 'em comming if ya will. Thanks." 'This red head is a bottomless pit for liquor' thought the bar tender to himself.11:49 pm- Numerous drinks later.....still downing those shots of liquor. "Seven years I knew foxyboy, heard of 'em long before. Not once did we...voice just how much we cared for each other." By this time the bored out of his mind man had given up listening to this ranting, bordering on drunk, woman. 'Hell,' she thought 'Am I that bad to listen to?'. Needing at least one that will hear her out she turned to the man on her left. The one that had been on her right, left a long time ago. He was clad in a pair of tight Levis jeans and New York Knicks sweatshirt. A black hat with a UFO and the lettering, 'I was there' toppedhis head making it impossible for the red head to tell what he looked like. He was sipping an IBC rootbeer from a brown bottle. 'He's hereto get away from it all to.', she concluded. 'But not to get drunk.' Since her 'listening victim' wasn't drinking then she wouldn't either. The next time the bar tender sent a shot her way she sent it back and ordered an iced tea, with lots of sugar. Sliding the straw paper off she began to talk again. Tight-panted man actually seemedcontent in listening to the ranting woman of nearly his age. *smiling she introduced her self* "Names Daaayna, yours?" Upon getting no reply she continued her spill. "As you prollyheard I's gotts no ways of knowin' if'hes alive or not" In thenext hour and a half she had shared a lot with this strange yet,oddly familiar man. Much of which she had not said to anyone inher many, many long agonizing years alone. She had told of meetingMulder, who was her partner of seven years at the FBI who one day,disappeared in Oregon. While partners, he had leaned that theyhad been through lots together: abductions, his and hers; cancer;the loss of her child, Emily; being left barren; there were cases with aliens and horrifying monsters, yet she didn't believe. Somany autopsies. There was the loss of so many, her father, hismother, her sister, his sister, her daugher, their unborn child,her mother, and their boss of many years, Skinner. Conspiracies and close calls seeped from what the jean clad man was told by the sobering woman. When her partner, closefriend-unrequited love-disappeared she found that she was pregnanteven though that couldn't happen to her. Even though it had been thirteen years since he went missing no partner or man had taken this Mulder's place in her heart and life. "I kept his apartment just as it was when he went missing. I'vepaid the rent all these years. Visited it frequently." Letting outa loud sigh, she proclaimed, "You must have some where to go. I knowthat I am just boring the shieeat out of you" "Go on. Please.", replied the man who had now turned to look her in the face. "I never stopped my search....", she continued. Sobs over took the small red head's body. "God. Why am I cryinglike this?!!? Why? Why? Why?" She chanted questioningly. Throughher tears the 'why? why? why?'s' were barely audible. An arm suddenly encircled the sobbing woman. Although he wasa 'stranger' she welcomed the warm embrace. He leaned in and upon her forehead placed a chaste kiss: One like those that she had received some thirteen years and some odd months ago. Noticing that the lips are so familiar to her she glances upward. Taking his face in her hands, the red head caught the man in the alien cap by his chin, hereyes lock with his in the same manner. Like a person afraid to move in their seat when they know that a bomb has been rigged to it, sheheld her self stationary on the stool-the tears were all gone. The woman, who now was quite sober, grabs the levis clad man andhugged him with all her might. "I never stopped searching for you. Mulder. Lord, it feels so good to call someone that-not on an accident. Missed you to infinity. Where have you been-With whom-How are you?", the questions poured out. All the tear streaked man could muster was, "Lets go home Scully." At that the redhead placed two fifties on the bar, told the tender to keep the change, and walked arm in arm with the much taller man to hail a cab. "*huh* Imagine that--right beside her all this time. Ironic isn't it?", the bartender said aloud to the couple still in the corner booth who just replied in unison, "Whatever.". With that response the tender though aloud, but not loud enough as to where the couple could hear again, "They'll never be as close." A smirk came over the his face as he begin to clear the rootbeer bottles and the tea glasses from the table. "Wonder if we are all that near to what we are looking for."Scully's (the red head's) apartment- All night (what was left of the night) to when the sun was up, they talked. The red head caught the jean clad man up to speed on all that had happened. When he had heard all this he recapped "Scully, so what your saying is that in the thirteen years I have been missing you have mysteriously been pregnant with a child that you and I thought could never be. Miscarried that child that was oddly enough mine. Was a assigned a new partner, Dogget: who was killed by a giant man bat. You computer and mine and all of the solid evidence, what of it there actually was, has all been taken. You are no longer with the FBI because you threatened and or attacked all that said anything negative about aliens, me or you, or searches. " He paused for a brief moment, "Oh and Skinner and the Lone Gunmen were all killed by a giant cow that landed on the Lone Gunmen's van causing them to crash in to a tree that just happened to be in Oregon on the exact place our car went dead all of those years ago...Is that all that happened?" "Heh, just about sums it up." she says. "Foxy-you didn't say how much I missed you." "No I didn't. Bet that it was just as much as I missed you those thirteen years. During the time that the extraterrestrials were testing me I can remember thinking 'Gee, bet Scully starts her life over and never again thinks of me. But I knew that, that wasn't or couldn't be the case." A smile came across the pairs faces as they sat side by side facing each other on the plush couch. Tears were sliding down the faces of both as they sat starring-The tears one cries when they are reunited with a soul mate that one has all but given up for being dead. Mulder picked up the red head and carried her to her bedroom, laid her upon the bed. Laying down behind the woman who is already curled in to a ball shape he hugs her with all his might. "Scu....Dana? I'm so sorry about you loosing our child." With that she turns around to look him in the face and replies, "I was so..So saddened. I f...elt that I....that I had failed." With out another word being spoken they hugged, until their armsfell asleep, hugged until they both drifted off to sleep. Silent was the apartment--There was only the falling of tears from reddened eyes.

..

Miranda,Thank you for the card and the lock of hair. I have always treasuredeverything you give me. Let me know if you need me to come on Wednesday andhelp you get your room cleaned and packed up. I can come as soon as I takeAnita to school. Good luck on the rest of the exams this week.Love, Mom

...

Thank you for the card and the lock of hair. It was good for you to remember. I love you and so does PaPa. Take care and when and if we get back, we will hear from you. Ma Ma and Pa Pa-that says when and if are my g'rents planning on dying on their older ppl bus trip? i wonder if the card was once again over their heads... time time time will tell.-

eeeeeeeeeeeee packing *hides*

i think that i am developing some sort of plath obession. and i don't know why. ehh. *smile**breaks the plath**inserts bnl*testing 1,2,3Better than the first timeBetter than the worst timeIf I could just reverse timeI'd be setTesting 1,2,3Can anybody hear me?If I shed the ironyWould anybody cheer me?If I acted less like meWould I be in the clear?She got a new apartmentIt's out on the escarpmentAnd in her glove compartmentAre my songsKind of like the last timeWith a bunch of really fast timesIf we're living in the past timeSoon goneWe recognize the presentIs half as pleasantAs our nostalgia forThe past'll be presentedRecast and reinventedUntil it's how we meant it

plath.

*yawns*bah packing. Love Is A Parallax'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:train tracks always meet, not here, but only in the impossible mind's eye;horizons beat a retreat as we embarkon sophist seas to overtake that mark where wave pretends to drench real sky.' 'Well then, if we agree, it is not oddthat one man's devil is another's god or that the solar spectrum isa multitude of shaded grays; suspenseon the quicksands of ambivalence is our life's whole nemesis. So we could rave on, darling, you and I,until the stars tick out a lullaby about each cosmic pro and con;nothing changes, for all the blazing ofour drastic jargon, but clock hands that move implacably from twelve to one. We raise our arguments like sitting ducksto knock them down with logic or with luck and contradict ourselves for fun;the waitress holds our coats and we put onthe raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun who insists his playmates run. Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,would have me swallow the entire sun like an enormous oyster, downthe ocean in one gulp: you say a markof comet hara-kiri through the dark should inflame the sleeping town. So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and damesin dubious doorways forget their monday names, caper with candles in their heads;the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies inscattering candy from a zeppelin, playing his prodigal charades. The moon leans down to took; the tilting fishin the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish blessings right and left and cryhello, and then hello again in deafchurchyard ears until the starlit stiff graves all carol in reply. Now kiss again: till our strict father leansto call for curtain on our thousand scenes; brazen actors mock at him,multiply pink harlequins and singin gay ventriloquy from wing to wing while footlights flare and houselights dim. Tell now, we taunq where black or white beginsand separate the flutes from violins: the algebra of absolutesexplodes in a kaleidoscope of shapesthat jar, while each polemic jackanapes joins his enemies' recruits. The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':though prima donna pouts and critic stings, there burns throughout the line of words,the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusionwhich dreamers call real, and realists, illusion: an insight like the flight of birds: Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowingthe secret of their ecstasy's in going; some day, moving, one will drop,and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that healsonly to reopen as flesh congeals: cycling phoenix never stops. So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shellsof withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells and heavens till the spirits squeaksurrender: to build our bed as high as jack'sbold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks away our rationed days and weeks. Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,and god or void appall us till we drown in our own tears: today we startto pay the piper with each breath, yet loveknows not of death nor calculus above the simple sum of heart plus heart.

insomniac by plath

The night is only a sort of carbon paper,Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of starsLetting in the light, peephole after peephole --A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things.Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictusHe suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessnessStretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.Over and over the old, granular movieExposes embarrassments--the mizzling daysOf childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams,Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful,A garden of buggy rose that made him cry.His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks.Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars.He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue --How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening!Those sugary planets whose influence won for himA life baptized in no-life for a while,And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby.Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods.Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good.His head is a little interior of grey mirrors.Each gesture flees immediately down an alleyOf diminishing perspectives, and its significanceDrains like water out the hole at the far end.He lives without privacy in a lidless room,The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-openOn the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations.Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible catsHave been howling like women, or damaged instruments.Already he can feel daylight, his white disease,Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions.The city is a map of cheerful twitters now,And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank,Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.

*...

*text was here, then removed*

camp sched.

Staff Training: May 22-31June 1 OFFSession 1: June 2-5 (4 day)Session 2: June 6-12 (7 Day)Session 3: June 13-19 (7 Day)June 20,21,22 OFFSession 4: June 23 - July 2 (10 Day)July 3,4,5,6 OFFSession 5: July 7-10 (4 Day)Session 6: July 11-17 (7 Day)July 18,19,20 OFFSession 7: July 21-24 (CORE CAMP ROCKS! 4 Day)Session 8: July 25-31 (7 Day)Clean-Up: August 1

survey.

an anon survey...

...randomlunchquote...

'sometimes i think that the old stuff eats the new stuff'

marriage! wedding! october 16th!

Ok so the wedding that I am a bridesmaid in is not next june it's this October! Gillette's wedding. Oh my wedding. Eeep... so I have to decide what I want to wear. As long as it's apple and from the mix and match part of david's bridal (they're separates) I'm good... here's some of the millions o' choices I have.
.... click to seeeeee them ~_^
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let me know what you all think and which one's you like... *yanws* or feel free to go to www.davidsbridal.com and mix one for me. :)

miranda likes: the 4th one. but i like them all cause i posted them here.

-m

yum

the newspaper, reeses cups, and a warm blanket for a chilled miranda. the refreshing rain was cold.

was in the senior dance concert peice that i thought was cool.

we emerged from youth all wide-eyed like the rest. shedding skin faster than skin can grow, and armed with hammers, feathers, blunt knives: words, to meet and to define and to... but you must know the same games that we played in dirt, in dusty school yards has found a higher pitch and broader scale than we feared possible, and someone must be picked last, and one must bruise and one must fail. and that still twitching bird was so deceived by a window, so we eulogized fondly, we dug deep and threw its elegant plumage and frantic black eyes in a hole, and rushed out to kill something new, so we could bury that too. the first chapters of lives almost made us give up altogether. pushed towards tired forms of self immolation that seemed so original. i must, we must never stop watching the sky with our hands in our pockets, stop peering in windows when we know doors are shut. stop yelling small stories and bad jokes and sorrows, and my voice will scratch to yell many more, but before i spill the things i mean to hide away, or gouge my eyes with platitudes of sentiment, i'll drown the urge for permanence and certainty; crouch down and scrawl my name with yours on wet cement. -sounds familiar-by weakerthans off of fallow

meh.

the tv is obnoxiously loud.my head is pounding.i wish i had an animal to snuggle next to.the rommmate is in here with her mantoy.exams are hella close.my ear plugs are nowhere to be found.i so need to clean,got advising code, yet now need gumption to find classes.must reregister for housing for the fall.need to pay off library overdue fine.it looks like i misplaced the incubus cd i was to sent someone.i left my ace bandage in guilford... and wrist is pissed.my roommate is snuggled next to her bf. >_<i sent drunken ims last night.i want to snuggled next to a friend and can't.closer to moving back home.going to snap soon and start killing.keep reading things into/adding on to what people say. my fave g'rents think that there is something wrong with me.the alcohol is insanely low. sad.i need to wash my hair... it smells.life has coerced me into being tired of it once again.i am restless.the full moon is near.the desk where i am sitting just moved... thus I have finally cracked.the air is cold.it's beein 2 days since i last masturbated.there's a choral funtime tomorrow that I need to remember to get the comp ticket to.if i dyed my hair pink it has been said that i would look like a cupcake.i need hair dye pronto.yawns are addictive.my god the roommate snores.my toe nails are black.fingernails are non existant.snuggling is the greatest thing on earth.ah! i just realized that my elbow pits are hella ticklish today.i miss things/people/the way things were... nostalgia, jah.i feel like arguing with people for the hell of it.i'm hungry again.they're cute in each others arms.looks cut deeper than words... no words be needed.i have two rolls of film to develop.a friend requested of me to me make a pic i posted of her dancing private- fingertips might be sliced if i failed to comply to a suggestion.i want to shove socks in my rommates nose cause the noise would then be less.i'm sporting scrub pants.love love love.the airconditioner has got to go.fingertips c/o Poe.fingerprints c/o skott freedman.i sleep next to my phone... that never rings while i am asleep but it doesn't matter. it's closer so that I can reset the alarm when it sounds.just scratched my ankle.families are off bunches of ppls.cheese is a god.i made some rock out noddles.bed calls, peace...earplugs located beside bed.[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ed.>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]the tv is obnoxiously loud.my head is pounding.i wish i had an animal to snuggle next to.the rommmate is in here with her mantoy.exams are hella close.my ear plugs are nowhere to be found.i so need to clean,got advising code, yet now need gumption to find classes.must reregister for housing for the fall.need to pay off library overdue fine.it looks like i misplaced the incubus cd i was to sent someone.i left my ace bandage in guilford... and wrist is pissed.my roommate is snuggled next to her bf. >_<i sent drunken ims last night.i want to snuggled next to a friend and can't.closer to moving back home.going to snap soon and start killing.keep reading things into/adding on to what people say. my fave g'rents think that there is something wrong with me.the alcohol is insanely low. sad.i need to wash my hair... it smells.life has coerced me into being tired of it once again.i am restless.the full moon is near.the desk where i am sitting just moved... thus I have finally cracked.the air is cold.it's beein 2 days since i last masturbated.there's a choral funtime tomorrow that I need to remember to get the comp ticket to.if i dyed my hair pink it has been said that i would look like a cupcake.i need hair dye pronto.yawns are addictive.my god the roommate snores.my toe nails are black.fingernails are non existant.snuggling is the greatest thing on earth.ah! i just realized that my elbow pits are hella ticklish today.i miss things/people/the way things were... nostalgia, jah.i feel like arguing with people for the hell of it.i'm hungry again.they're cute in each others arms.looks cut deeper than words... no words be needed.i have two rolls of film to develop.a friend requested of me to me make a pic i posted of her dancing private- fingertips might be sliced if i failed to comply to a suggestion.i want to shove socks in my rommates nose cause the noise would then be less.i'm sporting scrub pants.love love love.the airconditioner has got to go.fingertips c/o Poe.fingerprints c/o skott freedman.i sleep next to my phone... that never rings while i am asleep but it doesn't matter. it's closer so that I can reset the alarm when it sounds.just scratched my ankle.families are off bunches of ppls.cheese is a god.i made some rock out noddles.bed calls, peace...earplugs located beside bed.<ed. for spelling, etc>

marcy playground lyrics

Our Generation Are you a child of the free to be you and me generationAnd are you in tune with the world around youI am a child of the free to be you and me generationAnd I am with you in being in tuneWe shall bring change to this placeListen to the whistle of the planet twirlin' through spaceSingin la la la la la la to the human race(She says)I believe I am the flower of life, the EarthAnd the ocean oh ohI believe I feel the power of light, vibrateAll around me oh ohI believe you are the children of the one Great Spirit, oh ohAre you a child of the free to be you and me generationAnd are you confused with the world around youI am a child of the free to be you and me generationAnd I am with you in being confusedChildren children can you hear itListen to the riddle in the melody by Great SpiritSingin' la la la la la la there's nothin' to it(He says)I believe I am the flower of life, the airAnd the sunshine oh ohI believe I am the power of light, the motiveFor the universe oh ohI believe you are the children of the oneMother Earth oh oh

Dance dance...

Dance dance dance!!please don't kill.aka- a gorgeous pic that i might loose a limb or the feeling in one of my arms, etc over...

that would be...

that would be my boob... well a pic of my tattoo that i made a pretty colour.

jounal. *nods*mine.